Arsenal 10, Tottenham Hotspur 0

A piece published on the website of Justice for Men & Boys (and the women who love them), the political party of which I’m the chairman, in March 2017:

Wow. How mind-numbingly boring must this game have been? You have to wonder, did Arsenal field some men who self-identify as women? If so, it must have been tense in the showers afterwards…

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