A wealthy American donor has given us a substantial donation for what might appear to be an impossible challenge, to train seagulls (common in Bedford, despite being a long way from the sea) to, er, defecate on command (a whistle being blown). The objective is to have a large flock of the birds defecate on feminists whenever they’re gathered together outdoors in sizeable numbers, for example on marches about whatever is troubling their silly little heads at the time.

We thought it was an impossible challenge, and told the donor as much, but he was insistent. By way of encouragement he offered half the money upfront, and the balance when we provided proof of the training having been successful. He’s just sent us the balance after we sent him these images of “Gerry” from one of the training videos:

We’re looking forward to providing some entertainment at future feminist marches.

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