You probably won’t be surprised to learn that for years I’ve been inundated with requests from men to become their life coach, often in relation to fashion, personal grooming, interior decoration, and (less often) spiritual matters. They usually offer substantial amounts of money, but I simply don’t have the inclination (or time) to pursue this line of work. Instead I’ve decided to use this new website, and its associated YouTube channel, to give my advice for free on many of the areas I’m often approached about.

Which brings me to sausages, surely the ultimate man food. There are few things in life more satisfying than munching on a long hot sausage, and that’s not a euphemism. So I’ve decided, at 62, to start sausage-making at home, in part inspired by two videos on YouTube. One has received over 3 million hits, while the other hasn’t, but it’s a gem of a piece on the under-appreciated ancient art of sausage-linking.

The two videos are on a new Food & drink playlist on the aforementioned YouTube channel.

I hear you ask, why might you wish to start making your own sausages? Because of what commercial sausages may contain, described on labels as “meat”, at least in the UK – skin, connective tissues, fat, and more. Following in-depth research, I’ve just ordered from Amazon what I need to start making sausages in the required quantities, other than the meat:

Homeasy Meat Grinder, Food Processor, 2 litre stainless steel bowl… (£37.99)
Master Feng Sausage Stuffer (5lb, 3 litre) (£29.99)
Sausage pricker (£9.77)
Hog casings 36-40mm, 24 metres (£7.99)
Dried sage (135g) (£7.68)

Upfront investment £93.42, but a price worth paying for quality bangers, surely.

More food and drink advice to come, with your support.

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Women Still Face Discrimination, Says Jumped-Up Cow (Harriet Harman MP)

I am the chairman of the British political party Justice for Men & Boys (and the women who love them. The remainder of this blog piece is one I published on the party’s website in 2014.

At the end of another long day fighting feminism, I find some light relief is sometimes called for. So I checked into The Daily Mash and using the site’s ‘Search’ function I tracked down some good pieces. Keying in ‘Harriet Harman’ alone led me to many, including a selection which starts with a couple of pieces from 2008. The damage which that harridan (along with other feminist MPs, and their male collaborators) inflicted on this country during the Labour administrations of 1997-2010 is almost incalculable.

David Cameron pursues Harman’s militant feminist agendas with more enthusiasm than Tony Blair or Gordon Brown ever did, to his eternal shame. By way of example, we know he’s personally involved in the government’s drive to increase female representation on major corporate boards:

Cameron’s doing this despite knowing the initiative will damage the financial viability of the business sector. I digress. Back to the light relief:

Women Still Face Discrimination, Says Jumped-Up Cow

Labour MPs To Rally Behind Unbearable, Screeching Hag

Banks To Close For One Week A Month, Says Harman

Boardrooms should be 14% Brazilian tranny

We let in too many twats, says Bryant

International Women’s Day offers new chances for sex

Harman’s Husband Urged To S*** Her

Finally, a piece about Harman’s all-time most enthusiastic male collaborator:

Cameron annoys all humans

Please support Mike Buchanan’s work on Patreon. Thank you.

Women in Cheese. Join Miranda Bubb-Humfryes in a class celebrating the role of women in cheese-making. Tickets only £50.00.

I am the chairman of the British political party Justice for Men & Boys (and the women who love them). The remainder of this blog piece is one I published on the party’s website in February 2018.

Neal’s Yard Dairy is an upmarket cheese retailer in Borough Market, London. You can order your tickets (a bargain at only £50.00) for the “Women in Cheese” class here. Excerpts from the description:

To mark the occasion of International Women’s Day Miranda will host this special edition class. She will select cheeses made by women or influenced by women. [J4MB: How do women influence cheeses? By teaching them about the glorious ideology of feminism?]

Miranda Bubb-Humfryes [J4MB: No, seriously, that’s her name, apparently] has worked at Neal’s Yard Dairy for 3 years and is the co-manager of our Covent Garden shop and the Events and Shows we attend. Her role is broad and weekly includes working in our shops, with our cheese maturing team and even driving across the countryside delivering and collecting cheese. Miranda is passionate about the work she does and has a great skill in engaging with our customers and sharing her stories and experiences.

Miranda is currently heading up a project at Neal’s Yard Dairy to create and share online post and blogs about women cheese makers and to essentially publish this untold history. [J4MB: How exciting. Coming up in the series of untold histories being put on by Borough Market retailers, “Women in Clothes”, “Women in Meat”, “Women in Vegetables”, “Women in Poundland”, “Stationery Women”, “Women in Cars”, “Women in Coffee”, “Women in Alcohol”… these untold histories must be told. Never forget: Women are strong! Women are amazing!! Women need gender quotas!!!]

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Ken’s not happy. Oh dear. How sad. Never mind.

I am the chairman of the British political party Justice for Men & Boys (and the women who love them). The remainder of this blog piece is one I published on the party’s website in 2014.

We recently posted a piece praising Mark Field MP for using proportionate force in apprehending and ejecting a female Greenpeace protester from a room in the Mansion House, after she was striding purposefully towards the Chancellor of the Exchequer, who was making a speech to an audience of 300+ financiers, politicians etc. Our piece (and Mark Field’s actions) received almost universal support, as did the same piece on AVfM – here.

The only dissenting comments came from Ken, which were so gynocentric in their defence of the Greenpeace harridan, and critical of Mark Field, that I didn’t publish them. But our world-class IT system keeps a record of all comments, whether we publish them or not. The first of his comments:

What appalled me was how the other diners sat on their fat bums and allowed Mr Field to attack a protester who was doing no harm. Field shows every sign of being a violent thug completely unsuitable for public office and should accordingly be fired before he kills somebody.

The best way to deal with the protesters would have been for the other diners to throw Mr Field out of the nearest window. [My emphasis.] Then find a table for the protesters, buy them dinner and talk rationally about whatever it was that they were trying to achieve. Show them that the T*ries have some understanding of people who aren’t millionaires, for a change.

By the way if anyone grabs you by the back of the neck, try not to panic. Grab their little finger (it will likely be on the right of your neck) with all your strength and break the joint by pulling the finger backwards until you hear a loud scream. [My emphasis.] They’ll probably let go of you then.

He seems like a nice man. Anyway, it turns out he’s not happy about my disinclination to publish his comments previously. Oh dear. How sad. Never mind. He just emailed this to me:

I am writing to complain about your removal of several comments about Mr Mike Field’s disgraceful behaviour and assault on a female protestor who dared to walk into the room in which Mr Field and his friends were stuffing themselves. Democratic debate doesn’t work like that, Mike. Get a grip. Grow up. Sometimes, some people disagree with what you say.

Regards, Ken [surname redacted]

p.s. If I had a subscription I would cancel it.

I replied:

Ken, good evening. Thank you for taking the trouble to write to me. Unfortunately all your comments were firmly in breach of our Comments Policy, term 3.5 of which imposes a strict ban on the publication of really stupid comments on the J4MB website. As you might imagine, this means the followers of our blog don’t have their time wasted by comments from feminists and chronically gynocentric men. I trust you understand, and will bear this in mind, should you wish to post any more comments in the future.

P.S. I am sorry to learn of your frustration at being unable to cancel your non-existent subscription. Can I offer you a non-existent refund, by way of compensation?

Please support Mike Buchanan’s work on Patreon. Thank you.

Buchanan’s Law of Technical Advice

It’s slowly dawned on me over recent years, that although men and women with the same job titles earn the same, they don’t do the same. I’ve lost count of the number of emails I’ve had from men who’ve told me they have the same job titles and remuneration as women in their workplaces, but when hard physical tasks need to be done, only the men do them, because penis.

The same disparity is evident in professions in which physical risk is an issue. A drugs den raid, with equally paid male and female police officers in a queue at the front door, just before the door is smashed down, the people inside the building possibly armed to the teeth with firearms and knives? Ladies, please go to the back of the queue. Oh, you’re already there. Thank you for your co-operation.

A prison riot, with equally paid male and female prison officers running towards Killer O’Toole beating the s**t out of Jawbreaker Johnson? Ladies, please go to the back of the queue. Oh, you’re already there. Thank you for your co-operation.

Go into any DIY store, and ask any of the female employees the simplest question, maybe this:

Hello. I’d like to buy a left-handed nurdle decalcifier, where might you be displaying those?

Invariably Chardonnay – all DIY store female employees have this first name – will totter over to the Information desk, and speak into the PA microphone something along the following lines:

Would Mr Johnson please come to the information desk?

Mr Johnson, needless to say, will be earning no more than Chardonnay, and often less.

Which brings me to the aptly-named Joy. Because the burden of work for men isn’t restricted to physical effort and risk of injury or death, but extends to technical knowledge. Over many years I’ve found that in computer stores, the male employees have something of a monopoly on IT knowledge.

I’m currently thinking of buying a Samsung Galaxy tablet, and checked out the Amazon entry on one model – here. A potential buyer asked this question, for buyers and others to answer:

Does it have microsoft word on it, and if so,is it the free version? Thank you

Our thanks to Joy – here – for her helpful response:

I bought the galaxy tab as a gift , so I cannot answer the question.

We need more women in IT.

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Contributors wanted

Would you like to contribute humorous material to this website? We can set you up to add blog posts, which we’ll then publish, if we decide they meet our standards. The time may come when you’ll be able to publish pieces with no moderation. Please email Mike Buchanan ( and provide him with a sample of your work.

Please support Mike’s work on Patreon. Thank you.

Extracts from “Feminism: The Ugly Truth”

Mike Buchanan has written 10 books since 2008, his Amazon page is here. All have been international bestsellers, despite claims to the contrary by jealous feminist writers.

LPS Publishing released Mike Buchanan’s book Feminism: The Ugly Truth in 2012, and an updated edition in 2015, in paperback and ebook formats – here. The book is 408 pages long and contains 57 chapters (most of them short, some just one page) and 9 appendices.

Are you a misogynist if you only hate feminists?

Why men have nipples, and my sex change story

Are feminists less intelligent than normal women?

Why are fat women fat?

Are feminists less attractive than normal women?

Do feminists suffer from PPS (Permanent Premenstrual Syndrome)?

Women have a right to complain, but do feminists abuse the privilege?

Are some feminists (e.g. Tracey Emin) a pain in the arts?

Does Harriet Harman MP suffer from Mad Cow Disease?

First half of the Quotations section


Please support Mike’s work on Patreon. Thank you.

Google Translate

Whilst setting up this website, I spotted that one add-on option (at no cost) was Google Translate, so I added it (high up on the sidebar on the right). So you can now forward a link to this website to anyone whose first language is not English, and they can better appreciate the content. How cool is that? Oddly, to get the translation, you need to click on the language twice from the drop-down menu.

Please support my work on Patreon. Thank you.

Introduce Yourself (Example Post)

This is an example post, originally published as part of Blogging University. Enroll in one of our ten programs, and start your blog right.

You’re going to publish a post today. Don’t worry about how your blog looks. Don’t worry if you haven’t given it a name yet, or you’re feeling overwhelmed. Just click the “New Post” button, and tell us why you’re here.

Why do this?

  • Because it gives new readers context. What are you about? Why should they read your blog?
  • Because it will help you focus your own ideas about your blog and what you’d like to do with it.

The post can be short or long, a personal intro to your life or a bloggy mission statement, a manifesto for the future or a simple outline of your the types of things you hope to publish.

To help you get started, here are a few questions:

  • Why are you blogging publicly, rather than keeping a personal journal?
  • What topics do you think you’ll write about?
  • Who would you love to connect with via your blog?
  • If you blog successfully throughout the next year, what would you hope to have accomplished?

You’re not locked into any of this; one of the wonderful things about blogs is how they constantly evolve as we learn, grow, and interact with one another — but it’s good to know where and why you started, and articulating your goals may just give you a few other post ideas.

Can’t think how to get started? Just write the first thing that pops into your head. Anne Lamott, author of a book on writing we love, says that you need to give yourself permission to write a “crappy first draft”. Anne makes a great point — just start writing, and worry about editing it later.

When you’re ready to publish, give your post three to five tags that describe your blog’s focus — writing, photography, fiction, parenting, food, cars, movies, sports, whatever. These tags will help others who care about your topics find you in the Reader. Make sure one of the tags is “zerotohero,” so other new bloggers can find you, too.